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Jeff Bezos Went to Space and All I Got Was This Lousy Package
RE: Did you drop this from 62 miles away?
July 20, 2021
ME: 7:00 AM-8:40 AM: Read work emails, respond as necessary. Delete 51 spam emails all RE: hot flash relief, cooling sleepwear, and/or insomnia cures.
ME: 8:40 AM: Receive text that Amazon item — only ordered because it was a gift for a child and couldn’t be found elsewhere — is enroute.
ME: 8:41 AM-9:11 AM: Start laundry, make coffee, answer another work email, make a dentist appointment for next month hoping the Delta variant doesn’t cancel it.
JEFF- 9:11 AM: Jeff Bezos goes to space and does some flips. He upends his corporeal form like someone in his 50s who has never received an unwanted email RE: hot flashes.
ME: 9:11–9:21 AM- Vacuum, wipe something gross and unidentifiable off kitchen counter.
JEFF: 9:21 AM- Jeff Bezos returns from space wearing a cowboy hat he presumably bought at the Amazon space gift shop. He didn’t get one for anybody else on his flight.
ME: 9:21 AM- 11:00 AM: Work meetings, laundry folding, hum “Space Cowboy,” knowing every word even though it was released in 1969 when Jeff Bezos was already five, but I wasn’t even born.
