Hair Parts

Stop Arguing On The Internet About Where To Part Your Hair

For the record I’m still waiting for my shaved sides to grow back evenly.

If you lived in the mid 1980s and wanted to be the biggest-haired girl of your local mall, you took drastic measures. One way to make your sprayed hair wings look larger was to bi-level your sides. For those of you wondering what the hell that is, allow me to educate you, while you gaze in the mirror at your middle part.

Get ready to be wowed, because it looks like this:

My mother said I needed to iron my shirt. I refused. I did use a curling iron on my hair. (photo by long closed photo studio)

So I need you all to stop arguing about parts, center or middle, or otherwise, that aren’t even necessary. Because you will see there was a time in my life where a hair path was not involved at all. But we did buzz cut a patch above our ears.

I don’t know why, but probably because Blair on The Facts of Life did, and so did the public defender on Night Court. Those are the two women whose hair inspired me to allow a vibrating hair clipper perilously close to my ear cartilage. Other people who thought it was a good idea to shave pointy V-shapes on the sides of their face maybe had their own different reasons.

This isn’t just about me, although it is mostly about me, because I am offering up my own 1988 hair as an…