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What To Do This Holiday Season If Your Kids Are Expecting Taylor Swift Tickets
A list of suggestions for when you can’t grant your Swifty’s wish
Ask where their Hatchimals are. When they say they don’t know, remind them how much they wanted them the year they put them on the top of their wish lists.
Tell them that Taylor Swift is only 10 years younger than you. Provide no other context.
Remind them that their favorite food used to be dino chicken nuggets, and now they only want Chipotle because tastes change as you mature.
Go get them Chipotle.
Go back to Chipotle when the order is wrong.
Offer them a pony.
Ask them if they still like Beats. When they say they like their AirPods better, say, “See?”
Show them a Ferby. Tell them they can have two, and that they can talk to each other. Probably. Who knows.
Sing loudly, “I’m the problem, it’s me!” over and over while cooking fish, brussel sprouts, broccoli and eggs. Serve that food combo for dinner while you continue to low hum it.
Play Taylor Swift’s new album on a turntable at the wrong RPM when their friends are over, and dance to it.
