Published in The Belladonna Comedy·PinnedMember-onlyDaily Itinerary of a Lady Trying to Commute to Work in A City With Unreliable Public TransportationRunning on a coolatta cup clump — 5:45 am: Review outfit chosen the night before for its breathability in heat and fire, and its maneuverability should the need to jump from a train window arise. Assess its fashion due to societal pressure, and because I could end up getting interviewed on the local news. 5:50 am: Pack…Transportation4 min readTransportation4 min read
Published in The Belladonna Comedy·PinnedMember-onlyDaily Itinerary of a Family With Two Small Children Conveniently Staying Only a Half Mile From the BeachThat’s not crying, it’s the sound of the ocean — 5:38 am: Awake with the morning sun because your quaint cottage’s gauzy white curtains do not block light. Walk stealthily to the bathroom, so as not to disturb your sleeping family in this 650 square foot rental. …Family5 min readFamily5 min read
PinnedMember-onlyDying While Dressed WrongDementia has no fashion sense — I lost it the second I spotted her, perched on the edge of her bed. I was laughing so hard I could barely talk. My hysterics prompted her to mimic me. When I finally composed myself, she stopped laughing too. …Mwc Death6 min readMwc Death6 min read
Published in Slackjaw·PinnedMember-onlyMy Final Wishes Should I Perish In This Porta PottyHi my Facebook followers! I’m live with terrible news. I know I posted that I was headed to an outdoor fall festival featuring mead, apple cider, foliage, crafters, and so many pumpkins. …Humor3 min readHumor3 min read
Published in Runner's Life·PinnedMember-onlyRunning After a Heart AttackWith the support of strangers who became friends — Editor’s Note: This is the first in a series of stories highlighting just a few members of the global network, Cardiac Athletes. (© Cardiac Athletes 2020 |All Right Reserved) Three runners/cyclists are included in this article. Their stories contain some descriptions of their cardiac event. …Running8 min readRunning8 min read
Jan 13Member-onlyI Won’t Read Articles on Medium by Anonymous WritersHave an uniformed or biased take? Show your face, or keep it to yourself — One of the worst parts of Twitter is the way people tweet absolute garbage at fellow human beings anonymously. I’ve nearly left several times because of it. But I have found many wonderful Tweeters who crack me up, inform me, and connect me to other hilarious people, and scholars. So…Fake News4 min readFake News4 min read
Published in The Haven·Dec 20, 2022Member-onlyA Delivery Company’s Very Legitimate Reasons Your Packages Are Delayed Applicable to Any Season of the YearIt is snowing somewhere — Customers, please note our challenges highlighted in yellow, listed in a solemn, distinct font at the top of your tracking information. Obviously, these circumstances are beyond our control, and we appreciate your patience as we work around the clock to serve you: It is really cold in a lot of…Shipping2 min readShipping2 min read
Nov 23, 2022Member-onlyWhat To Do This Holiday Season If Your Kids Are Expecting Taylor Swift TicketsA list of suggestions for when you can’t grant your Swifty’s wish — Ask where their Hatchimals are. When they say they don’t know, remind them how much they wanted them the year they put them on the top of their wish lists. Tell them that Taylor Swift is only 10 years younger than you. Provide no other context. Remind them that their…Taylor Swift2 min readTaylor Swift2 min read
Published in Slackjaw·Aug 23, 2022Member-onlyThis Is The Grittiest City Drama On Prestige TelevisionEveryone here is staring in the water — This show is so gritty it’s like sandpaper. It’s as sandy as the bottom of the polluted harbor, river, bayou, or Great Lake everyone on this show stares into. This body of water is critically important to the plot line, and it’s dirty, just like the characters. It is a…Humor4 min readHumor4 min read
Jul 29, 2022Member-onlyGive Me a Race Shirt If You Want Me to Run Your RaceAnd offer a range of sizes, too — For weeks, I considered running a local four mile race. I wasn’t ready to sign up way in advance because I absolutely loathe running in the heat and humidity. Summer Running Sucks Should you even be running in the heat?medium.com It was a night race though, so I kept hoping it might be doable for me. As the date got closer…Running3 min readRunning3 min read